15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. 16 But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. 17 So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.
So, right, I can’t exactly blame my not following up on my last post as the sin within me, but this text does describe how I am feeling at the moment.
Good intentions. I am full of them. I intend to honor my wife in a big way every day, but do I? No. Every day for the last month, I have intended to connect with old my buddy, but have I? No. (sorry Blake) Just as I intended to make great grades and eat better in college, I intend these days to make more money and do more ministry. But do I? Do I really?
The answer is of course an precarious NO. I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate! And there are no excuses. There isn’t anything precarious about the no. I can’t say… ah, that is “my sin man” and I can’t help but fail since there is nothing good within me. I have to accept responsibility for my failures. I should not blame my circumstances, my family, my ministry, or my finances for my dropping the ball on what is better. Mediocrity. I hate it, yet I find myself in it.
I do intent to follow through on my last post to write seriously about web ministry. I have good intentions, and I hope to deliver… even if later than promised. Expect it in the next few months… and hold me accountable to it.